Please Forgive Me (1998) – David Gray

When a friend in Melbourne introduced me to the music of David Gray, I was puzzled why I’d never heard of him before. It was music that struck me right off the bat which would explain why Please Forgive Me is the fifth song to appear here so far from Gray. This song is a good appetiser of his music in general. He’s simply just a guy trying hard to say what’s going on in his heart and the world around him. There’s real passion in his voice; the sense that David is compelled to open up his soul and shout, to declare something.

David Gray is a British singer songwriter who came to world-wide prominence after the release of his White Ladder in which today’s featured track Please Forgive Me appeared. The album spent a whopping 2 years and 5 months in the UK albums chart. Also, the 2000 re-issue of Please Forgive Me peaked at No. 18 on the UK singles chart.

[Verse 1]
Please forgive me
If I act a little strange
For I know not what I do
Feels like lightning running through my veins
Every time I look at you
Every time I look at you

[Verse 2]
Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there’s so much I want to say
Wanna tell you just how good it feels
When you look at me that way
When you look at me that way

[Verse 3]
Throw a stone and watch the ripples flow
Moving out across the bay
Like a stone I fall into your eyes
Deep into that mystery
Deep into some mystery

[Verse 4]
I got half a mind to scream out loud
I got half a mind to die
So I won’t ever have to lose you, girl
Won’t ever have to say goodbye
I won’t ever have to lie
Won’t ever have to say goodbye

His 3 three albums before White Ladder comprised of mainly folk-rock music. Starting with the release of White Ladder, Gray began to make significant use of computer-generated music (folktronic) to accompany his voice and acoustic instrumentation. He has been dismissed by some as making middle-of-the-road soft rock, but that’s ultimately a matter of taste. I can understand that criticism but there’s no denying he is a talented singer-songwriter.

I would like to relay below a heartrending account of the meaning of this song by ‘uajcgable‘ at Song Meanings:

These lyrics have so many memories for me. I only created a membership here so I could share my story. Years ago, right as I was starting college, I met someone who changed my life forever. I ended up attending college in the same city that I grew up in, so naturally I knew a lot of people when i went to orientation at the beginning of the summer. There were two girls that I really didn’t care for very much, but there was this boy with them that absolutely took my breath away. He was from Chicago, didn’t have any friends here yet, and was kind of “stuck” with them.

The moment I saw him it was completely electric. I am a very pragmatic individual, and don’t really believe in Love at First Sight, but I can honestly say I fell for him the moment I saw him. That night I showed him around town, drove him to my favorite restaurant, and oriented him to his new home. We spent a huge amount of time together from that point on, calling and seeing each other every day. It wasn’t long before we started admitting we were both in love. I can honestly say that never in my life had I been so blissful. Our romance lasted for several months, but slowly things began to change. He just became emptier and emptier.

Just before the Summer ended, he broke up with me abruptly, and as we went through college things became bitter and stale. We weren’t on very good terms, and acted as such. The crazy thing was, the reason why I argued with him so often was because I never quite fell out of love with him. I dated other men, experienced many other types of relationships, but none were exactly the same. From a distance I could see him slowly wither away, making poor choices left and right, becoming skinnier and skinnier, and growing more and more depressed. I wanted to reach out, but I didn’t-out of pride. Shortly thereafter, he committed suicide. His death has marked my life more than anything else ever has.

Why am I posting all of this here? Because Please Forgive Me was our song. Anytime we wrote anything to each other (an email, facebook, etc.) we always ended it with “Please Forgive Me If I Act A Little Strange, For I Know Not What I Do. Feels Like Lightning Running Through My Veins, Every Time I Look At You.” I honestly cannot listen to this song without bursting into tears (years later). What makes this song even more powerful for me is that the last three words of his suicide note were, “Please Forgive Me.” I don’t know if it was for me or if it was coincidence, but I honestly don’t care. I could drive myself crazy over it, but I choose not to.

Regardless, this song has changed my life, and I hope you take my sharing something this personal as a lesson to rise above immaturity and pettiness, and just be honest about your feelings to those you care about. At the risk of being cliche, “resentment is fleeting, but true love lasts a lifetime” I don’t know if he ever knew how much he meant to me; To this day that is still my deepest regret. If you are in that position, take my lesson and tell that person that despite of it all, you still care about them.

References:
1. Please Forgive Me (David Gray song) – Wikipedia
2. Please Forgive Me – David Gray