I got some pussy today, regrettably as it turns out.

hostile cat

An abandoned cat sat on my front door mat and decided I was its new owner. All the neighbors told me they knew it was there but declared it ‘lost’. You see, they have cats already.

They shoved me a kitty litter tray and some food and said, ‘Congratulations’. I was freeing this world of just another homeless pussy. I felt good about myself.

The cat seemed adorable. It had the numbers ’02’ tattooed inside its right ear which could have set me out out on a long journey to find it’s owner like a homeward bound odyssey of sorts. ‘I’m a great guy’ I thought.

Then it happened. From out of nowhere, it jumped out and sunk it’s teeth and claws deep into my leg. Fuck, it hurt! I couldn’t walk anywhere in my apartment without it preying on me. It went into full-predatory mode, unfettered pussy rage if you will. I felt like I was appearing in my own slasher flick.  I was too scared to pick the fucker up too.

I eventually lured it outside enticing it with food from the 6th floor.

What’s the lesson? Fuck knows. May be I’m not such a great guy after all.

“The more I live, the more I learn. The more I learn, the more I realize, the less I know.”- Michel Legrand

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Posted in Reflections

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Matthew Kick

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