‘The Golden Touch’ – By Ron and Toby Blanchard

For today’s Wednesday literature excerpt we take a look at an Australian theater script which was written 33 years ago. What makes today’s post slightly offbeat is I played the original protagonist of this oddball play The Golden Touch which satirizes the mythical Greek Midas Touch story. It was invented by two fellow Aussie cohorts – father and son team Ron and Toby Blanchard.

You see, Toby and I were in the same drama class at school and he and his father wrote this outrageous script. Toby’s Dad, Ron Blanchard was an Australian stage, television and film actor who played Alexander Bunyip in the long running ABC children series about this mythical billabong Australian creature. Also Toby appeared as a young child actor in the Australian cult classic ‘Careful he might hear you‘, which stars Wendy Hughes.

So when I received the script as a 13 year old actor aficionado in drama class to debut the play, well what can I say – I was gobsmacked.  I played the role of Midas to the best of my abilities and got some laughs here and there, but Toby Blanchard as ‘Bacchus’ brought the house down. I mean he could really do ‘drunk’ as a 13 year old. My god was he a talented so and so. If memory serves me correct Toby got his inspiration from Dudley Moore’s performance in Arthur for his part.

So below are the first 3 pages of The Golden Touch.  I hope you get a giggle from it.  I kept a copy of the original script for memory sake. I always wondered if it was performed again since Toby spent just one year at our school.

The Midas Touch Pt 1

The Midas Touch Pt 2The Midas touch Part 3

“The more I live, the more I learn. The more I learn, the more I realize, the less I know.”- Michel Legrand

Posted in Movies and TV, Reading, Reflections
25 comments on “‘The Golden Touch’ – By Ron and Toby Blanchard
  1. macalder02 says:

    No pudo poner en el traductor los textos del guión y es una lástima. De todas formas, esa experiencias de tu corta edad, deben haberte dejado una experiencia maravillosas. Tener la oportunidad de debutar así, es lo máximo a los 13 años. Saludos.

  2. Very interesting. Very cool. I’m happy to learn that you are a fellow thespian. It’s been years since I was on stage, but I still love the art form. Nice to see your posts again.

    • That makes two of us that have been off stage for a good while. What did you do on stage? And don’t say act or sing. Be specific lol
      Thanks for your kind words. It’s nice to be back in the swing of things.

      • I was a Theatre major. What did I do onstage? Hmm…I suppose you are talking about roles I played?…It was so long ago…I played two of female leads in Plaza Suite. I was Eleanor in The Middle Ages. I was in the chorus of Pippin. I played Helen in The Secret Affairs of Mildred Wild. I don’t know, I acted in over twenty productions. Everything from leads to bit parts. The only ingenues I played was Ann in All My sons and I mentioned my role in The Middle Ages which wasn’t so bad. Ann was horribly boring, I thought as most ingenue parts are–at least they were at the time I was active.
        I was the stage manager for several productions and the student assistant director of Annie and Rhinoceros. I built sets and designed lighting schemes. I’ve been a wardrobe mistress and the makeup artist. I guess that’s about it. I preferred drama to musicals.

      • Wow Pam, you were the real deal! That was fascinating to read about your theater background and acting performances. I remember you saying you preferred just about anything to musicals Haha. Thanks so much for sharing that. I imagine you must miss the whole theater life, at least a bit.

  3. Thanks. As you can tell from my resume, it was a long time ago; the productions I was involved in are quite dated…Yes, I miss the art of theatre. The bigness of it. It’s a team sport, if you will. I don’t miss the lifestyle–though I never did it professionally. It was strictly high school, college and community theartre. Which reminds me of the great and hilarious Christopher Guest movie, “Waiting for Guffman.” There’s a lot truth in that mockumentary. Ha!

    • I can understand your missing the art of it. I really enjoyed Ingmar Bergman’s book about his reflections of his time as theater director and life in general. I haven’t seen ‘Waiting for Guffman, but I’m watching the trailer on IMDB. Keanu Reeve….sssss lol

      • I love all of Christopher Guest’s movies. I think they are brilliant and hilariously funny. Waiting for Guffman and Best in Show are probably his best films–as far as direction goes. Very few comedies can match Spinal Tap, but of course, he “only” acted in that. Ha!

      • Spinal Tap is one of my favourite mockumentaries. If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend ‘American Movie’ which in fact is just a documentary but appears to be a mockumentary, but isn’t. I’m sure you would get a kick out of it.

      • It’s on my list. Thanks!

  4. Good story. I was pounding the boards at the same age. Julius Caesar. I was a human pin cushion (cardboard knives). I wanted nothing to do with the part but the track coach made me do it. I was a reluctant thespian to say the least.

  5. Well Thankyou Mister Mathew!
    I’m afraid I don’t have much recollection of the performance itself (Which high school was this? I went to seven…) but I have vague memories of my father and I laughing our tits off writing the thing. I gave up the acting bug before my twenties, mostly because I didn’t have the thick skin needed by all actors to take the rejections. I now sit behind a screen drawing fantastical creatures for money. Much more in line with my ageing bod and social anxiety.

    I still play a wonderful drunk though.

    • I read this post a little while ago and I’m still gobsmacked that you messaged ‘amigo’. I have such good memories of that time mainly because of your performance.

      I understand what you mean about the rejections. I couldn’t fathom how hard that would be and it might explain why I liked ‘La La Land’ so much which dealt with that aspect of acting however outlandish it was portrayed.

      I’m glad you have found an another artistic outpouring which pays the bills. I’m hearing you about the ageing body. You’re not alone Toby!

      I’m just so chuffed to read from you in this post. Really, it has made my quarantine all the worth while. How you played the drunk as you did all those years ago is something that would have made a you tube sensation these days. How times have changed!

      Stay in touch man! Seven schools in seven years. I can’t imagine how tough that would have been.

      • Could I possibly ask a favour? Many years of moving means that both my father and I are without a copy of the script. Are you able to scan it and send to me at toby@bughopdesigns.com? I will happily draw you a picture of your choosing in barter 🙂

      • I would be delighted to send you a scanned copy. I’ll get it to you within the next couple of weeks. Thanks for your offer of a picture, but I’m sure you’ve got enough on your plate. But that’s a very nice gesture on your part. Cheers.

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